Buzzkill
by sweetkiwi604
Summary: It didn't matter what he chose; drugs, alcohol, women the moment he saw her he was sober as a judge even after all these years later. ZA. One shot. Complete.


I haven't written anything in so long I feel like I can't even complete a sentence anymore but I hope this makes sense and I hope you enjoy!

 **Buzz Kill**

Three days. That was how long Merle had been at Woodbury before he saw her. Phillip, or the Governor as he liked to be called, had welcomed him to the gated community though Merle knew it was more of an interrogation than anything. It wasn't the first group he came across since Officer Friendly handcuffed him to the roof in Atlanta but it held what he would need to find his brother which is all he cared about to begin with. The Governor wasn't trying to keep these people as safe as he was trying to convince them. He was in it for the control and that kind of power under the best circumstances were troublesome but now they were just lethal.

Her once perfectly groomed hair sat in a mess of curls on top of her head. She had never been one for name brand clothes but damn did those jeans look like they were made just for her. The thought left a sour taste in his mouth and he spit on the sidewalk in disgust. Dirt covered the once white tank top as she loaded a few more books into the wagon she had been given. Merle hadn't figured out yet if she was stupid enough to believe that the Governor actually wanted her to run the library or if she was doing it because she couldn't care less. It was none of his business. He had better things to do than reminisce about a past life that would never be again.

It didn't matter what he chose; drugs, alcohol, women the moment he saw her he was sober as a judge even after all these years later. When there wasn't a dealer in every alley and a bar on every corner he was going to have to figure out a new way to block out the thoughts of the girl who had grown into a woman.

X-X-X

Music; it wasn't anything that she used to blare in her car on a hot summer's night. It was an old man clinking two spoons together, another strumming a guitar while a woman sang about a happiness that would never be again but it was nice to daydream. But the happiness didn't last long before the memories came back, flooding every waking thought she had.

She hadn't thought about her past in years until Merle Dixon was brought through the gates of Woodbury. All those long nights spent at the Dixon's with her ass hanging out, her shirt ripped, and a ten dollar bill being shoved in her mouth as her hand glided over Mr. Dixon's length. That wasn't the worst of it though. She could block out who she was with and what she was doing. Her momma needed that medicine and a girl without even a high school diploma had limited options. It wasn't an everyday occurrence just once a month when Mr. Dixon got his bonus and had a few extra dollars to blow. The worst was meeting Merle in the hallway in the middle of the night as she tried to leave. The man she always had eyes for but she was his daddy's toy.

She was snapped out of her memories as she heard Merle laugh at something Martinez was telling him. She excused herself from the small gathering that had been listening to the music and headed back to her room, needing to wash up after the thought of his father's hands on her body.

The bowl of water was room temperature but it chilled her body as she ran the wash cloth over her skin. She could only assume Mr. Dixon was dead or Merle would have still been with him. The thought was oddly comforting but was just scraps, trash that could be tossed to the side and never thought about again. She did what she had to for her family and she would do it all over again if it meant she got more time with her momma but she would always be the town whore in Merle's eyes and that hurt more than it should have.

It was the end of the world and yet the sun still shone every day. It was sickening actually. Except that night, because that night it rained and she felt as if the universe had finally given up on itself as well, and if the universe was throwing in the towel so to speak, why was she still holding on. There was nothing for her here, here or anywhere else. All she had was her books and the reminder of her past staring at her every morning as he strolled the streets as if he owned the place.

She decided that leaving was the only option left. There had to be another community out there where she could stay. Packing the few meager possessions she had left and stashing a beaten copy of _To Kill A Mockingbird_ in the bottom of her bag, she headed for the front gate. It would be now or never. The Governor had left on a run and was expected back in the morning and Merle was on guard. It wasn't going to be easy but she knew that he was her only hope of ever leaving this place.

Her heart almost leapt out of her chest when she saw him with the gun resting on his shoulder. This was the world that Merle Dixon was supposed to live in. He wasn't like her. He was a survivor. Maybe if things had been different they could have survived this new world together but she would never know. She kept her head down, avoiding the few residents that were still up and roaming about the town until she came up to the fence.

"The hell you think you're going?" He all but growled, jumping down from his post and landing in front of her with such a presence that any other woman would have cowered away from.

For a brief moment it was sixteen years earlier and she could smell the motor oil that stained his work clothes as she tried to sneak out of the trailer. However, she didn't move an inch but to readjust the bag on her shoulder, "Leaving." _As always_ , she added to herself.

"Oh yeah?" He all but laughed in her face, amused with the antics of a child not a grown ass woman. She had been haunting his every thought since he laid eyes on her and while he tried to play it off as if he didn't care; Merle knew she wouldn't make it out beyond the wall on her own. "Where are you going to go?"

She wasn't going to back down though. She needed to leave. She couldn't live with him in the same town, not again. Not under the false pretense of security. "What do you care?"

"I don't. Just a waste of a nice piece of ass if you ask me. I mean blondie over there isn't too hard on the eyes and before the world went to shit I'd bend her over that railing while you watched just to show you what a real man could do. But medicine is the new wealth and I ain't wasting it on the clap for a mediocre five minutes."

The thought of actually having to watch him have sex with anyone made her stomach knot but she kept her face void of emotion. She had no right to feel anything towards the man standing in front of her. "Sayin' shit like that makes you sound like your old man."

It was a low blow and she knew she really hit a nerve because for a second it showed on his hardened face but in the blink of an eye it was gone again. He motioned for the gate to be opened, "Don't let the walkers bite you in the ass on the way out."

He wasn't sure what made her leave. He wasn't even sure if he cared or not. The only thing he knew for sure was that he would drink after his shift and she wouldn't be there to sober him up this time.


End file.
